That duet is amazing! They should definitely keep the hats.

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A.C.Wise posited the Omni was haunted because people got lost in the many halls and stairways. I responded with this:

Well, let me tell you the story of a fan named Charlie,

such a ghastly tragedy

He put his handy schedule in his blue jean pockets

and went down to DisCon III

But did he ever return? No, he never returned, and his fate’s a mystery

He may walk forever through the halls of the Omni ‘cause he came to DisCon III.

He loved Star Trek and Star Wars and he dressed like the Doctor

and he’d read all the operas in space

He wore elf ears and steam goggles and his hair was dyed rainbow;

he’s a model of the true fen race.

Charlie strode off that morning with a hopeful spirit

and he waited for the lift to come.

When it got there two hours later, he was starved and dehydrated

and his legs and feet were numb

Charlie got to the lobby, and was so excited

to see scores of vaxxed fen in line

But the queue for registration took another six hours

Charlie wouldn’t have time to dine

Charlie finished up a panel in the Diplomat Ballroom

And he aimed for the Capitol Room

He just couldn’t wait to hear a reading from his favorite author

Or her tale of ghosts and gloom

The queue for the lift was long, hot, and sweaty

Charlie thought he would take the stairway

There were flights up and flights down, and stairs that went nowhere

Charlie just couldn’t find his way.

Charlie wandered the Palladium and he stumbled up a staircase

And went right down the other side.

It took twenty more minutes ‘til he found the elevator

And by then he felt about to die.

Charlie finally found the Promenade he thought he was seeking

But alas, it was west, not east.

Down a hallway, round a corner, and go past the elevator

Charlie couldn’t find his way in the least

He found ops and listening posts and even gender-neutral bathrooms

And a sign that pointed out his way.

That hall took him to the Blue Room and a sideroom called Prefunction

Charlie wondered if he’d last the day.

Charlie missed the reading, and he missed his dinner

And he missed John Scalzi’s soiree.

Never got to the firepit or the upper floor parties

Poor old Charlie simply passed away.

But did he ever return? No, he never returned, and his fate’s a mystery

He will haunt forever all these halls of the Omni ‘cause he came to DisCon III.

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That is seriously brilliant. Also completely accurate. Have you posted it anywhere? I'd love to share it!

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Dec 23, 2021Liked by Ellen Kushner

I'm glad you like it. I have it on my blog at efdeal.blogspot.com, and I shared it with Roberta Rogow and other filkers. You are welcome to share it.

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*Finally* listened to the duet. Somewhere, Leroy Anderson is laughing in delight.

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